Overcoming Workplace Gaslighting and Burnout
A Story of Staying Human
hand to heart - Canva image
The Burning
My body burns. It feels as if venom is trickling into my neck, chest, and left shoulder.
I want to say I’m used to the burning pain that feels hot and sore, but I don’t think I ever will be. I got a call from the hospital. The nurse told me my son was in the hospital.
Only a few weeks ago, I was promoted to lead mental health services at several school sites. A day after my son came home from the hospital, he was in an e-bike accident. I took time off work to take him to the ER and to follow-up appointments. My supervisor did not understand.
“As an administrator with a custom calendar, you could have scheduled this in advance.”
I got quiet. In those moments, I learned something.
To cope, I kept myself busy. I did not want to think too much and feel worse. So, I visited schools and met new coworkers. I met with children and families and used my care and skills to handle sensitive situations. It helped me stay focused on what mattered and not get in my supervisor’s way.
The Mask
I wore a brave face at work, but it was not real. I had always told myself I would stay true to who I am.
I blamed myself for ending up in this situation. If I had not taken this promotion, I would not be getting gaslit. I would not be dealing with this. I would have had the freedom to help my son whenever he needed me, without the guilt, the extra work, and the stress.
For goodness sake, it was summer. Where was my vacation? I needed one.
If you are also wearing a brave face while holding together a breaking world, you don’t have to do it without tools. [Click here to get 3 free Beyond Survival Coping Cards] to help you cope when the stress feels overwhelming.
The Sorting
“Accept that something dismantling has to happen before you can build. As you look at the mess of life’s pieces and parts around you, trust that the materials you need are there. Start sorting: Which can go? Which should stay? How will you use them? Start now.”
I did this work for children, parents facing tough systems, and the community. I connected with many wonderful people along the way. I loved them.
But I was being hurt by the system. It was crushing my soul. It did not love me back.
I chose myself. I chose my son. I chose my integrity.
